A Sea Epic of Microscopic Proportions
It's not an easy job sailing the high seas in a Petri Dish, but someone has to do it. And nobody does it better than (cue timpani and horns) The ScumRunners! Every week this crack crew of single-celled sailors sees to it that the Petri Dish Sea is a safe place for all. Not the easiest of jobs when an evil villain lurks in the dark waters, waiting for his opportunity to claim the Petri Dish Sea for his very own.
Just who is this amphibious ne'er-do-well? Of all the great villains - Batman's Riddler, Star Wars' Darth Vader, Saturday Night Live's Colin Quinn - none strikes fear into the inhabitants of the Petri Dish Sea like Sam Donaldson's Evil Toupee and his diabolical gang of malevolent bag boys. After having his career shattered by the affable Sam Donaldson, Sam's Evil Toupee is bent on a mission to rule the world. But first he must conquer a Petri dish. Baby steps, Sam. Baby steps.
Oh sure, Sam's Evil Toupee has the S.S. BigWig, a nuclear submarine that can sail circles around the S.S. ScumRunner. But he doesn't have something the ScumRunners have: heart. Well actually they just have well-intentioned cytoplasm but that's still pretty darn important. Just who are these pinhead-sized sailors? Let's find out, shall we?
The Captain: It's not easy for a shy, cross-eyed, myopic liver fluke to command such a superior squadron, but somehow the Captain finds a way to back into some pretty shrewd decision making.
Parry: If it weren't for the Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy, this perverted Paramecium might not have made the A-list. He's a good sailor, even if he is in denial about his asexuality.
Eugene: The new kid on the block. Not from the band New Kids on the Block, just the new kid on the block. This energetic euglena has spent his entire life wanting to be a ScumRunner, and now he has finally made the big show. Hopefully he won't let all this success go straight to his flagellum.
Sluggo: Dumb as a stump. Strong as an ox. Hungrier than your average Ethiopian. That's Sluggo, and the ScumRunners love him.
Sigfreid & Roy: Salt & Pepper. Thunder & Lightning. Bra & Panties. If you find one, you'll find the other. And when you're two amoebae stuck together in a binary fission gone awry, you can bet you'll always find one with the other. They share the same cytoplasm, but certainly not the same opinions. Sigfreid is cool, calm and collected. Poor Roy is a bit of a rageaholic. But if someone else controlled your nuclei, corrected your comments and finished your sentences for you all of the time, you'd be pretty pissed off too.
Together they are The ScumRunners! They may be tiny, but their adventures are huge.
